I’ve been a workaholic my entire life. I usually practice 5-8 hours per day (when I don’t have a “real” job), I handle all of my administrative tasks, run my social media, respond to as much email as I can tolerate before going crazy, I edit my videos, I run my fundraising campaign, I write essays, am taking an online super-learner course (so I can become a speed reader and get more things done faster!), am studying 5 languages, practice yoga, cook most of my meals, take photos of and blog about said meals, etc.
I often find myself saying “oh, I’ll just do this one last thing so I have more time for the other things tomorrow”, and then the same thing happens the next day. And the next. And the next. I haven’t been to a movie in months. I never go see plays, or dance performances, or visit art galleries. I rarely go dancing, and I LOOOOOVE dancing. I hardly ever get to go hear the fabulous musician friends I know and love. All I do is work.
Granted, I made the choice to walk away from a likely more stable career as a compute engineer and from a PhD program and a certain tenured professor track so I could be a composer and performer, but this is ridiculous. I have so many movies on my DVR, it’ll take me 3 years to watch them all…at least at my slow pace! I’ve got a stack of books that remain unread next to my bed.
My last vacation was 2011 – and that only happened because Stevie had a gig in Brazil and I took advantage of being there. Why can’t I just relax?? So, my new rule is: no work after 9pm unless I’m at a gig. My old habits are deeply entrenched, but my desire for a level of human normalcy is strong too. Is acknowledgment enough to overcome my inner perfectionistic workaholic?